The Downsizing Diaries: The Why List

Lists: I like them.

They provide me with warm fuzzy feelings. Perhaps it is because of their neatness and simplicity. Like little bits of utilitarian poetry.

When I started ruminating on the "why" behind my ongoing simplification (downsizing collections of physical things, of course, but also simplification in all manner of areas), lists naturally started to form. Then, they quickly began to arrange themselves into distinct categories:

Fear, Dislike, Like, Value, Must

What started as a casual capture became a meaningful exercise. Initially, my thoughts remained largely within the context of downsizing and simplifying. However, I remained open to what emerged, and this approach could be utilized to understand one’s own "why" and roadmap in perhaps an infinite array of applications.

The list below is not my “final” version (after all, it's an ongoing process, and there’s no such thing as final). However, the initial results provided me with a foundation to which I can return and from which I can build and further shape my self-reflection as I continue to uncover what authentically resonates for me.

The Downsizing Diaries...

I've been on an extra strong urge to purge kick this year. I go through cycles of letting go as well as cycles of acquiring new items to go along with new hobbies or interests or style choices. The seasonal practice of assessing my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual clutter is nothing new for me. However, this year, it seems like the need to let go of physical items has been especially strong.

I've sorted through stacks of old keepsakes and piles of ill-fitting clothes. Baskets full of beauty products that were less than stellar for me. Boxes full of items I rarely if ever use. Boxes and boxes have left my house. Bags and bags of trash and recycling have been left curbside as my quest to evaluate and downsize continues. Even with as much as I've culled and tossed and moved on to a new home, I still feel as though I am surrounded by and weighed down by too much stuff.

Too. Much. STUFF.

Things.

Worldly possessions that, on their own, don't really mean much, especially if they are not task-oriented.

Yet, I have to give myself a pep talk as I move along. Do I really see myself using this again? Wearing it more than once a year? Wanting to have it around at all, taking up valuable real estate in my closet. In my brain? In my life?

I find that my low key and my "ooh, shiny" selves are in conflict. The curse of being both brained, I suppose, is fitting ease and extravagance into one personality. I am both theatrical and practical, and at a certain point, that becomes a challenge to navigate in the sorting stuff seas. Exactly how many jackets and necklaces and pairs of heels does a person need? (Okay, "need" may in and of itself be an exaggeration.)

How much is just enough? Where is the line of "too much"?

Maybe the line of too much is when the stress around figuring out how to clean it, store it, or move it makes my eye twitch.

And so, I have a newer question for myself when it comes to my next phase...

If this item up and vanished tomorrow, how long would it take me to notice? Once I noticed, how much would I care?

In order to exercise my way through this question, some items I'm on the fence about are going into totes, those totes are going up on a high shelf once full, and I'm going to put a sticky note on it for when the tote was stored. If I pull the tote down and take an item out, that item can stay out. For anything that remains, I'll do a seasonal reassessment. If it's still there a year from now and makes it through pulling it purposefully or beyond the seasonal culling, it's a sign it needs to go.

So, what about acquisition of new things? Again, I have to ask myself...

How much is just enough? Where is the line of "too much"?

A couple of months ago, I urged friends and family to opt for bonding time, meals together, or donations on my behalf rather than physical gifts for my birthday or the holidays. I requested presence instead of presents. For those that still enjoy receiving physical gifts, a few folks may receive treasured items that I've enjoyed for a time and will hopefully bring them great joy as well.

On the practical day-to-day side, I've already put some limits in place. For makeup and the like, it must all fit in my one designated case. If I want something new and there is no room left, something must get used up, tossed, or re-homed. All clothes, shoes, and costumes must fit on my side of the closet and in my designated drawers. Bath products must fit in a limited cabinet space. Each type of item has a footprint or a container, and if that space is full, it's time to sort and purge. In time, I may decide that those allotted spaces should be smaller to create further boundaries on buying and storing.

At the end of the day, I'm downsizing for what may seem like a surprising reason: abundance.

Less things to maintain allows for an abundance of time and energy for other joys.
Less stuff to organize means more organizational skill toward career or creative endeavors.
Less items taking up space leads to an abundance of space and air and lightness of spirit.
Less purchases means abundance in my budget for experiences and adventures.
Less care needed for worldly possessions opens up more abundance of care for myself and others.
Less focus on acquisition frees up focus on the abundance I already have.

When I began this sorting snowball earlier this year, I went on memory journeys as I read through and then tossed old cards and letters. I felt the joy of giving what I once wanted to someone who needed it more. I've seen friends twirling in former frocks and enjoyed the laughter induced by an amusing book that once lived on my shelves. These feelings are familiar. And enjoyable. And while I'm sure I'll make monetary donations or find ways to give supplies now and then...

Selfishly, I'm looking forward to the abundant lightness to come.

When I have curated my collection so well that what I give most is my time and energy. The usefulness of my hands. The love from my heart.

Thankfully, none of which require boxes, labels, extra lifting, coordinating pickup times, or figuring out how to fit everything into my car.

Usually.

Out of the Mothballs and Into the Groove

A whole 2.5 years later, I'm looking back through my measly few posts on this blog and thinking "hey...I should post some more entries"...

So, here I am. :)

Within the past couple of years, I've had significant life shifts. Quit a job that was terrible for my overall well-being, started a new job that continues to blossom into a fulfilling career, bought a house, strengthened some relationships, let go of others, and rolled with some that became redesigned (Interpersonal Interaction 2.0, if you will).

I worked on my relationship with myself.

I have let go of some old habits and forged healthier ones.

I've learned a lot about my goals, my boundaries, and both who I am and who I want to be.

I have, sometimes in a more literal sense and at times more figuratively, pulled stuff out of the mothballs and reexamined some stored interests, allowing them to be re-imagined in some really fun ways.

Writing, painting, drawing, dancing...arting.

That's a word, right? It is now.

I ran my first Spartan race and am training for another one. I went to my first burn and fell in love with the community and the freedom and artistry it nurtures.

I returned to yoga, and this time, it's a lasting relationship rather than a passing and flirtatious fancy.

Throughout all these experiences, a few ideas have come into more acute focus:

• The most dreaded exercise move, the hardest conversations, the most difficult concepts to grasp, and the most gut-wrenching realizations almost always lead to the most useful and rewarding growth. If it isn't uncomfortable, or maybe even a bit painful, it isn't going to lead to big change. Change isn't comfortable.

• Set an intention without being tied to expectations. I'm working on this every moment of every day, and I know I'll continue to hone this for the rest of my life.

• Find your edge. Your REAL edge. Say hello to it; become acquainted with it. Invite it over for tea. Respect it, learn from it, honor it, and recognize it will be different each day. Look at the other side of it with courage and curiosity. Work right up to it. Play along side it. When it's time to explore the next frontier, you'll know.

• Listen to yourself. Trust your strength. Trust your voice. Breathe.

• Try discussing boundaries openly and with full honesty rather than setting rules. Discuss them again. Talk about them each time they adjust or gain nuance. Observe how it colors your relationships and interactions with people differently (or how it doesn't, in some cases).

• Breathe some more.

These are only a few big themes and thoughts that have wiggled their way to the front of my mind, especially more recently as I look back over the last few years. They are also just my opinion based on my experiences.

What are some paradigm shifts, focus shifts, or mantras helping you as of late?

Learning to Let Go

Over the past month, and even before the 1^st of the year, I have been going over and over in my mind what I want this year to be about. What is the new lesson I need to learn or what previous lesson do I need to build on?

It’s easy to say what you want or need. “I need to work out more.” “I need to eat healthier food.” “I want to find a better job.” “I want a new car; to buy a house; a new TV; a new couch; a stronger body; a sharpened mind; more quality time with family and friends.” This list is simple to build. Each of us dream about all the ways our life would be better if we just had this one new thing, new experience, or new breakthrough.

More money? Sure, that would be nice. More time? How do we even go about finding THAT? A healthier self? That’ll take lots of work, but sure…I’m in for that plan.

But what about what we DON’T need? What about what we should drop, release, sever…

What about the “let it go” list?

That, at least for me, is always much more difficult. I’m a sentimental person. I’m a human being with human weaknesses for attachment. I make excuses. I justify keeping things around. I like to think that if I just keep holding on, maybe that thing/idea/belief/person will come in handy some day.

But, wait…isn’t that hoarding? I sound like a hoarder now when I say it out loud to myself.

Okay, so that may be a little harsh. Let's look at this from another angle; let's consider some of our earliest lessons in life.

When we are young, we start to learn, slowly, what our capacity is to hold onto things.

In the first cases, it is quite literal. Want to play with a new toy? Well, you have to set down the one from your left hand or your right hand, because you can’t both hold and play with all three at the same time. Want to carry some things into another room? You will have to choose what you actually want to bring, lest the entire pile of stuffed animals, snacks, cars, dolls, blocks, and your juice cup all explode forth from your arms into a mushroom cloud of playtime projectiles. (If you doubt this one, watch ANY toddler when they decide that they want to be in the adjacent room and EVERY THING THEY OWN must come with them rightthissecond.) We learn that we have to choose. We learn that we should ask for help. We learn by example that tools and cooperation are good things when we want to take on more than we can carry by ourselves. We also reinforce that dump trucks are cool AND useful.

As we get older, we learn the importance of letting go emotionally.

Like little Timmy and want to hang out with him again, but you are afraid he’ll play with your favorite Legos? Well, you have to let go of the need to have complete ownership so that you can gain the skill of sharing. You decide friendship with this really cool kid is more important than the need to possess or control. This is reinforced when you have lots of fun, and, as it turns out, he brings over some of his toys to share, too. How awesome!

You let go of temper tantrum behaviors because you learn they will get you nowhere. They might also get you grounded.

You learn to get over the disappointment of a mean “friend” letting you down because you remember you have lots of real friends that are more than happy to share the swings, have a picnic, invite you to sleepovers, and stand up for you.

Your first childhood pet dies and you learn of life’s impermanence.

As we experience more intense grief moving forward through life, letting go becomes a skill necessary to preserving our mind, body, and spirit: we hold onto the memories and the lessons, but we learn to let go of what is not, or cannot, be there in our lives anymore.

In many of these situations, we are almost forced to let go. But how do we make this skill a conscious decision? When an object, a person, an idea, a concept, or a notion no longer aligns with your values and no longer serves to grow you and strengthen you, it’s usually time to just let it go.

You can have it “all,” and you can do it “all,” but not all at once, not all by yourself, and not while you are still holding onto obstacles. You need tools. You need people. You need skills. You need patience. You need release.

The reason I say it is “all” is that this term may be defined for different people. Maybe a better way to put this is that you can be actively whole and have a whole world. To be whole, you have to get rid of the holes.

Holes are things, people, relationships, beliefs, and nostalgic notions that take more away from you than they put in…they are parasitic portions of your life that are a detriment to your being. They might have been useful at one point; they might have seemed to be a good thing; they might have been crutches; they may have been pulling you down and eating at you all along.

People that always break their promises, items that clutter your life, the need to be right or to control, the need to do everything yourself or for everyone else, thoughts that weigh you down, and excuses and justifications that you tell yourself over and over again or use to put yourself down rather than picking yourself up are slowly burrowing into, and through, the person you have the potential to be. Your whole, complete, healthy, strong, beautiful self. Basically...

NOT LETTING GO IS SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY KILLING YOU.

And here’s the real kicker: if you can’t be your whole wonderful self, you can’t be much good to anyone else either.

Now, I’m not saying you are not valuable, because you are extremely valuable and wonderful and inherently amazing in the deepest core of yourself. However, it’s also true that you can’t help someone that is drowning if you don’t know how to swim…or if the current is far stronger than you can handle…or maybe even if you don’t have the right tools or a little help from a few more people. Using a less aesthetically pleasing metaphor, have you ever seen two drunks trying to help each other? It’s kinda sweet, it’s confusing, and while well-intentioned, it almost always ends in either injury or a big ol’ mess.

I can’t tell you what things you need to get rid of in your life, because I don’t directly know all your struggles and your pains and your promises to yourself. I'm not in your head, so I cannot, and should not, tell you what you must release in order to be healthy and happy. Well, maybe other than certain drugs and foods that are sure to kill you, but since I'm all about individual choices and responsibilities, those decisions are still very much up to you.

So, as I cannot speak to anyone's needs but my own, here is my personal (partial) list for myself:

• I will stop wasting time on petty activities and petty conversations. This doesn’t mean I can’t veg; it just means it can no longer be the “main event” day after day after day. This doesn’t mean I can’t joke; this just means that I won’t get pulled into circular stubborn silliness from myself or others.
• I will let go of my excuse that I don’t have enough time. I do have enough time. I have to weed through what wastes my time so that I can embrace what enriches my time.
• While I’m at it, I will just let go of excuses. Period. I still make too many of them, and that must stop.
• I will stop putting off furthering my education. To do this, I first need to let go of my fear that I can’t handle it.
• I will let go of the need to attend every single event that I’m invited to; I will release the anxiety that I’ll be left out or unloved if I don’t go to this birthday dinner or that picnic.
• I will let go of fears in favor of adventures.
• I will let go of friendship “ghosts,” resentments, and unnecessary anger.
• I will let go of the need to make sure every person likes me. Not everyone is going to like me. I really need to get over it.

My list will continue to grow as I look into myself and approach my personal inventory with (sometimes harsh) honesty. This list will also take a lot of work, and I highly suspect some of these things will not be completely let go of by year’s end. However, I can work toward these goals in earnest and strengthen my letting go “muscles.”

Tonight, I will be going to a rock climbing gym for the first time in my life. I have anxieties about heights and climbing. That’s a nice way to put it. Here we go, this is more honest: I’m pretty much terrified. That said, though, I am letting go of the fear holding me back, depending on trusted friends and climbing tools to help carry the burden, and moving forward, quite literally, in the exercise of learning to let go of one thing in order to grasp the next. This year, as with my experience tonight, I will learn to release, gain new footholds, and climb toward the summit.

What will you let go of today to grab onto tomorrow?

Getting A Bit Political

I hate all the whining, the polarizing, and the name calling. There. I said it. When did we stop caring about the life lessons that were taught, nay, DRILLED into us in elementary school? We don’t solve the issues by drawing lines in the sand, building up walls between us, or hurling insults at one another like a food fight in a lunch room. When we start hurling labels and group stereotypes around, we are missing the point.

The government is not out to get us; the government cannot save us; the government is made up of individuals that don’t have all the answers, can’t predict the future, and still have to make decisions based on their motivating factors. Sometimes those motivating factors are temptations. Most of the time, however, those motivating factors are goals, beliefs, principles, and ideas, much like the rest of us. And, much like the rest of us, those goals, beliefs, principles, and ideas are not all the time, 100% in agreement with their constituents or with each other.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hold our elected officials, and even the appointed ones, accountable for their actions and decisions. We should hold each other accountable, too. We should hold ourselves accountable. We should start thinking in terms of “I can; I will; I did; I must,” NOT “THEY did this; THEY are responsible for this entire mess; THEY are making ALL the decisions for me.”

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Ghandi

“Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

Democrats are not all uber-progressive bleeding hearts that are going to spend us all into debt filled oblivion and feel the need to play mommy and daddy by taking all of your money and distributing it like a giddy Robin Hood scheme going horribly awry.

Republicans are not all fear-mongering, hypocritical, racist, callous tight-wads that care more about profit than social responsibility.

Wealthy people are not all greedy or entitled misers that care more about themselves than those around them and try to cheat their way into making lots of money for little or no work.

The poor did not all go broke because they were on drugs, gambled, popped out too many babies after unwed unprotected sex, were lazy and lacked ambition or work ethic, partied all the time and dropped out of school, or spent all their money on luxuries rather than necessities.

Some people did indeed become wealthy by inheritance, dumb luck, or even dishonesty. Some people have gone broke because of unfortunate or even stupid life choices. Some have a particular pay grade because they deserve it, some take more than they deserve, and some are paid or given less than they deserve.

The first really rude awakening we receive when we are young is that life isn’t always fair. Ideally, we then learn to still act in the name of fairness, empathy, justice, and personal responsibility to strive toward a world that is more just with the understanding that it will never be completely perfect.

The world is not yes or no, all or nothing, black or white. The world is a lot more complex than that.

Even if someone fits into a political or social caricature, while it indeed gives us the right to question their actions or call to light the issues at hand, it does not give us the right to belittle their humanity. They are still a human being. Not a monster. Not the boogie man. Not a parasite. They are a human capable of the full range of emotions and decisions.

We should work against fraud in all its forms.

This could be the CEO gleaning vast bonuses gained from bailout funds while those on the bottom rung of his or her company barely scrapes above hunger and homelessness and (s)he forgets the responsibility (s)he has to the general public for its investment. This could be a fully capable, non-disabled adult feigning job hunting in order to sit on their laurels while accepting welfare and unemployment checks because they just don’t feel like working. This could be someone that drives an Escalade, has a jewelry box full of diamonds, and shops at high-end clothing stores while accepting food stamps. This could be someone that drives an Escalade, has a jewelry box full of diamonds, and shops at high-end clothing stores who then pressures his/her congregation to give more and more of their funds and live up to the commandment to tithe all “in the name of religion and the church.” This could be anyone that pretends to be perfect or ethical or entitled or destitute just to get what they want without working for it; these are the people that take as much as possible and give as little as possible. Their “me” muscles are overdeveloped and they have ignored the exercises of generosity and service.

Stop calling anyone and everyone you don’t like “Hitler.” This goes doubly or more for those who have never studied the beginnings of World War II, don’t recall the names “Himmler, “Goebbels,” and “Mengele,” conveniently forget genocides in places like Rwanda and Cambodia, have no clue how the film “V for Vendeta” could ever connect to the history of Argentina, do not know how to look at both the sum total and the individual parts of a political movement, and/or have never delved into the political zeitgeist of the rise of significant political movements rather than relying on romanticized folktale style celebrations of glory or “evil” regimes and events that are told in the ilk of nightmarish ghost stories.

Politics and movements are far more complex. They also require the involvement and decisions of more than one figurehead individual, regardless of the government’s systematic structure.

Bad decisions do not always come from a bad person, and good decisions do not always come from a good person. Intelligent people can make dumb choices, and ignorant or uneducated ones can have moments of brilliance.

Not everyone that considers themselves to be Libertarian or ascribes to ideas of the Tea Party movement are blindly religious, judgmental, extremist jerks. Not everyone that is part of the Occupy movement is a tattooed, pierced, neo-hippy, bored college student with money from their parents and a naïve view of the world.

Some of them fit the stereotypes. Some don’t. Broad generalizations are tricky and sometimes even dangerous.

Many self-described Libertarians (and, yes, perhaps even “Tea Partiers”) also have a strong belief in volunteer work, social responsibility, and equality. Many who are involved in OWS are former soldiers or business people who think hard work is an essential component to combating corporations that are indeed greedy or corrupt, because you can’t complain about laziness and unjust entitlement while embodying those same qualities.

I have met conservative tree-hugging heathens and liberal devout Christians. I’ve even met some tree-hugging Christians that are fiscally conservative and socially liberal and have pagan friends. People don’t fit into convenient files.

All in all, we are not the 99%, the 53% percent, the 1%, the 50%, or any other percentage you want to throw out there. We are the 100%. We are 100% human, 100% full of potential, and 100% capable of changing ourselves, our communities, our country, and our world. We are 100% able to discuss issues without turning it into a temper-tantrum filled toddler fest. We are 100% capable of disagreeing without name calling, disrespect, rudeness, or violence. We are 100% able to use our rights: our right to speak out, to protest, to vote, to write letters to our governmental officials, to create our own media, and to chose to spend our money with corporations we believe in rather than those we feel are corrupt.

We are the 100%. We have the right to respect others rights. We have the right to be grown ups and build a better world for those who have yet to reach adulthood. We have the right to a dialogue rather than an unintelligible shouting match. We have the right to argue diverse ideas and beliefs while simultaneously celebrating that we are the 100%, that we will call out hypocrisy and fraud and greed, that we will work hard for our goals, and that we will fiercely uphold our rights and the rights of others with dignity, grace, maturity, and humane interaction.

Sometimes, we will find common ground. Sometimes, we will agree to disagree.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." – Evelyn Beatrice Hall (on Voltaire)

Stubbornness & Spring Cleaning

For good or ill, I am stubborn.  People who know me personally will find this line to be shocking, I'm sure.  (Can you feel the sarcasm just oozing out of that one?)

I have come to realize that many of the habits I have are a daily expression of this stubbornness.  I suspect the case is similar for others.  Many of us are unwilling to change those routines that bring us comfort or enjoyment or, in some cases, even stress.  Sometimes, we are reluctant to get rid of a stressor because we are stubborn...it is the way we have always done it, it has always been a part of us, and it will continue to reside in our lives until our "stubborn switch" flips.  At that point, we go from gripping onto our habit to dropkicking it out the front door and hurling all its worldly possessions right beside it on the lawn.

Now, with the return of spring and the fresh beginnings it promises, I feel the pull of goals and opportunities and the need to toss out anything that doesn’t help me roll up my sleeves, dust out the cobwebs, and make way for the new, the productive, the joyous, and the fulfilling.

Spring is when my switch flips. It’s a magical time of rebirth and renewal and a readiness to challenge myself...a feeling that is so strong to so many of us that it almost physically pulls us toward change.


Some of us use the good old idea of spring cleaning as a metaphor for this shift in ourselves. We go beyond just stashing our winter clothes and cleaning bookshelves that haven’t seen a dustrag in months. So look into yourself and ask: What is my self “spring cleaning” task? How am I going to throw open the windows, breathe in the crisp possibilities, and bask in the light?


My cleaning to-do list started before spring, like many do. I created my New Year’s list. I decided what I should accomplish this year. I guess, in a way, I feel like January through March is my pre-game warm-up. I start to add small steps toward my goals or ideas, and then I really build up the momentum moving into spring. By the time we have the first tastes of picnic weather, I am primed and ready for a fresh start.


This year, I made a commitment to return to cleaner eating and more activity. I started by cooking more often at home and forcing myself to take advantage of still living an easy walking distance from work, even though hiking to work in the snow doesn’t exactly have much appeal (especially if you have done so several days in a row and are pretty much THE only person that actually made it into the office that day!).


The great thing that I have learned about myself in these steps is that once I begin working on establishing good habits during the most sluggish time of year, and they start to take hold, I know that adding the optimism of spring can replenish my resolve and eliminate even more obstacles. I can continue to rid my life of the things holding me back or tarnishing my health...all aspects of my health, including body, mind, and spirit...and pave the way for a lasting shift. I can use “stubborn” to my advantage. I can refuse to give up joy and excitement in favor of lazy or easy or “normal.” Most importantly, in the light of spring, with every corner dusted and the windows cleaned, I can recognize what replenishes me. I have the opportunity to appreciate the people that support me, the food that nourishes me, the activities that bring me vitality, and the experiences that make my heart sing.


Are you ready to let spring in? Maybe it’s time to flip your “stubborn switch” and send some stressors packing. Maybe it’s time to let the fresh air and sunshine refresh you so that you can take some goals and ideas to the next stage. Embrace the opportunity to actively seek bliss!

Beginnings

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” -- John Pierpont Morgan

Change has been in the air lately.  It has been around me at work, around me in my home life, in my yearning to look toward the future...even in our world's often contentious view of the direction each individual should choose in order to redetermine their destinies.  Heavy-handed musings?  Probably.  But these are the thoughts that enter my mind in the quiet, boring moments of the day.  The urge and influence of forward momentum reminds me that I'm alive for a reason.

So..."Tenacious Vitality"...what is that even supposed to mean, anyway?

te·na·cious –adjective

1. holding fast; characterized by keeping a firm hold (often fol. by of ): a tenacious grip on my arm; tenacious of old habits.

2. highly retentive: a tenacious memory.

3. pertinacious, persistent, stubborn, or obstinate.

4. adhesive or sticky; viscous or glutinous.

5. holding together; cohesive; not easily pulled asunder; tough.

vi·tal·i·ty –noun, plural -ties.

1. exuberant physical strength or mental vigor: a person of great vitality.

2. capacity for survival or for the continuation of a meaningful or purposeful existence: the vitality of an institution.

3. power to live or grow: the vitality of a language.

4. vital force or principle.

 

[Definitions from dictionary.com]

 

When the phrase tenacious vitality popped into my head, it simply meant grabbing life by the balls and refusing to let go.  Taking responsibilty to those actions and qualities in my life that are essential to my existence.  Searching to anchor to things and people and opportunities in life that make my heart sing.  It is a discontenment with the idea of simply existing when the alternative is the opportunity to LIVE.  At it's core, it is the utter refusal to relinquish that which gives me joy, strength, and purpose.

 

Here's to moving forward and welcoming new beginnings.  Here's to exercising the freedom to really live.  Please join me on my adventure.